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He kept touching my hair without my consent, was legitimately disappointed that I could not twerk, and called me “sassy” whenever I voiced an opinion that was different from his.
Unfortunately, that wasn’t the first or last awkward date I’ve had with a white man.
I live in Chicago, and the stereotype is that black men chase after the white women, but what I see in public is that white women have this stare, this gaze at black men. The multiculturalist and feminist advertising has created a really bad mixture in Chicago; it’s in commercials, billboards, on buses, and ads everywhere, even public service announcements.
There’s this encouragement and social pressure for people to date interracially, especially the white female and black male pairing.
The fact that there is such a huge disparity between the number of white women who want to have sex with Black men versus those who would marry Black men, shows that many still have stereotypical view of Black men.
Though racial microaggressions are felt by every marginalized group within the dating realm, I am building upon my own personal experiences with heterosexual, cisgender white men to offer suggestions on how to ease racial tensions that may arise in a white man/black woman pairing.
Once, I was at a bar with friends when two white men approached me.
When it comes to relationships, most women want to know everything that a man is thinking and his secrets are considered little enemies capable of ruining their relationship. In fact, it’s absolutely necessary for each partner to have his or her own personal world, thoughts, feelings and boundaries that belong to him or her and no one else.
So what are you supposed to do to still be involved in your man’s life, but not pry and end up scaring him away?
Before you get too attached, Steve Harvey, comedian and author of Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man , says there are five questions every woman should ask.